The crazy looking gal in the pic over the bed greeted me (I know, who says gal anymore) when I entered my hotel room tonight. I didn't notice her at all until I turned on the overhead light and then I hit my kung-fu stance. Fortunately, she does not face the bed, or I would not be able to sleep tonight.
There's a hand protruding from the wall in the shower holding the shampoo and soap. Very boutique.
When I checked in, the front desk guy (a man whose hair is likely the envy of every man he knows, so dark and swirly and gelled into place as it was) told me I had to re-park my car between "the two little yellow lines" if I wanted the valet to park it.
I'm not snotty little shit, everyone valets their cars at these hotels. This is South Beach. There is no parking unless you pay the meter every 38 seconds. I watched the Parking Division lady stand next to the car in front of me and wait patiently for a few minutes until she could give it a ticket. I wish the same amount of care and concern could be administered to getting the breakfast sandwich I order from McDonald's, but we can't have everything we want in life, I know this much to be true.
So, the guy with the hair, gesticulating us both outside to the curb, where he led me to see to the car (so polite, it was hard to refuse), to which I sighed in a way I wasn't proud of.
He replied, "I know, it is an inconvenience" in a very masculine Latin voice that commanded me back inside the car to do a U-turn to park within the little yellow lines without further question.
"Thank you, miss. Here is a coupon for a glass of champagne at the bar."
God knows I was a hot mess. Windows down, hair blowing all over the place as I crossed the bridge, a rainbow in my wake (really, a rainbow appeared, it was pretty stunning). I had sweated all day at work in a series of hot buildings. I was wearing a dayglow t-shirt and the usual industrial garb.
Have I mentioned Miami is a hot bed of French tourists and fashionistas and half-naked people every day of the year? Well, it is. I looked like I had taken a tumble dry in the tumble dryer.
I took his coupon and sweated my way over to the elevator and punched the Up.
When I arrived at my floor, I found it hard to locate my room. Turns out, the room numbers were etched into the mirrors next to the door. I think I had been touched by the sun because I couldn't see the numbers for a long time, circling where I thought my room would be, if I had counted to the left from the first room at the sign's arrow pointing and beginning with the odd numbers in the 20's. I kept thinking why would they not put the number on or near the door?
I ain't too bright.
Went for a long walk down to the water though the sun had set by then. A woman was playing in the ocean with a group of friends, no shirt on. Bilbo Baggins boobs flappin' in the wind. Oh, and there's a United Nations' Declaration of Human Rights on the nightstand; I'll probably thumb through it. I used to have a Pocket United States of America Constitution. Good reading.
Been up since 3am. Lord. What a day.
Day 2, coming right up. Enjoy that snow!